I don't know why people don't call ME when they get sued.

Oh, Airborne. When will you ever learn?

I don't mind that you faked your clinical trials, especially as I now stand to recoup some of the expenditures I have made purchasing your fine product over the years. I also won't claim retroactively that I suddenly don't feel better anymore, even though this nasty little tickle in the back of my throat feels a lot like the early onset of a tidal surge of sickness coming over the sandbag wall of ZESTY Orange Flavor! Airborne I've been taking for the past few days. I also won't blame you for making me resort to that hideous metaphor from the last sentence, but that's mostly because I'm a nice guy.

What I do mind is that you didn't even call me before I read this story on the New York Times about your settlement of the class-action lawsuit against you.

Unending font of information that I am, I could have pointed you to this story from badscience.net, bastion of reputable journalism that it is, which explains that placebos still work, even when the people taking them know they're placebos.

I could have saved you $23.3 million dollars. And I didn't even go to law school. I think that's worth a few free tubes of Airborne to not cure my upcoming cold with, don't you?