My secret longing

Unlike most bloggerists, I don't feel a need to mention things like my bra cup size or the number of gallons of urine I produce on average during a day. I just don't see the place for that kind of intimate personal details on a blog that you are the only person not reading. But I feel an overwhelming urge to mention that SUNDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY, and the reason I feel that need is because I have finally seen the perfect birthday gift for me. To wit,


I FUCKING NEED THIS!

Please someone who reads this blog (all both of you), track down the person who bought this on eBay and make them an offer. I will totally be your best friend.

Golfer's Crotch Hook on eBay