Paul Begala's birthday isn't until May 12th, so there are plenty of shopping days between now and then to find a more ideal gift for him than Anti-Monkey-Butt Powder, which he is going to need once Hillary Clinton finally bows out of the Democratic presidential race.
I'm hoping that happens right around May 12th, so I can leap in with a perfectly timed six-pack of Anti-Monkey-Butt Powder, thereby luring him to the Oscar the Grouch '08 cause.
My political savvy knows almost no bounds. How do you like me now, Barack Obama? That's what you get for hitting on my girlfriend, mister. I could totally have used the Anti-Monkey-Butt Powder to score the endorsement for you, but you blew it, dude. You totally blew it. Just like those ugly chicks did to our blind governor.