The Goings-On at Fox News

Remember the good ol' daze, when men were men, women were women, and Fox News's coverage of ill-attended, pro-conservative-agenda protest rallies was always, um... how do you say in English... padded with footage from other protests to make the rallies look more bigger?

I miss those times. Those were the best times of all the times.

But apparently, the era of protest-padding is over. Observe:

Come on, Fox News! You're blaming the weather? Whatsa matter, did your testicles call out sick today? Why don't you just man up, or grow a pair, or whatever it is that you ordinarily do before you insert falsehoods and embellishments into your protest coverage?

Get with the program over there, peeple. We're not tuning into your channel to watch footage of a sad group of morons who skipped a day of work so they could huddle in the rain and tell everyone else how to live their lives! We're tuning in for... um... okay, gimme a second, it'll come to me...

Here's a Nickel's Worth of Free Advice

Just because two people say things does not mean that they both made valid points. Much more often, one person is just speaking nonsense, and should consequently be punished for their insolent behavior.

For example, if I say something and you disagree with it, you are wrong and should be ostracized from society.

Therefore, ergo, and henceforth, you shall all be on notice, people. No more Mister Nice Smokey. And do you want to know why? Because not ONE of you sent me a Guy Fawkes Day card. Not one.

Disappointed, America. Very disappointed. [SMOKEY shakes head.]

And don't be all like, "oh, I was busy," because I know you fucking found time to vote. Jerk.