Well, that was easy!
It turns out that all I had to do to get resurrected was agree to appear at jury duty. Naturally, I assumed jury duty would be like Purgatory, where people sit around bored all day, waiting to get called into small rooms with lawyers. But real jury duty is actually SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.
The first person who came to speak with us Monday morning was a wizard, as in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Class of '88 - that kind of wizard. Of course, he didn't do any majick tricks - he was just there to tell us how to fill out our jury questionnaires. But he did sign majick autographs afterward: his name morphs into the great seal of the state of New York, and back again! That alone was worth the price of admission.
Speaking of which, was jury duty always that expensive to get into? $70, and I didn't even get a good seat. If that happened at a Knicks game, I'd be pretty mad. (Although unlike jury duty, a Knicks game is an unbelievably boring place to spend two days.)
Anyway, jury duty was great. I'm still full from the hummus and vegetable platters. But now that I've been dead for like a month, I have an absolute shit-ton of paperwork to take care of. Not to mention the many issues I keep having with my reassembled body, but I really don't think this is the forum to talk about those things. Does anyone know a good doctor who specializes in zombies and/or reanimated tissue, though? I'm thinking whoever works on Joan Rivers would probably be good.