Friday, January 16, 2009

Plane Crash Theory #3: Blame the NFL!

Sometimes, the answer to a riddle is staring you right in the face, and so you write a blog piece explaining it, only to discover that there is an even more staring-you-right-in-the-face answer to the same riddle lurking in the shadows. Why is it lurking there, you wonder? But you ignore that question and instead write another blog piece about the second answer, only to discover that you have once again been taken in like Steve Jobs's wardrobe, and that a third answer is now in the mix that beats the piss out of both the first answer, which was staring you in the face, and the second answer, which was also staring you in the face but also lurking in the shadows for some weird reason that it will probably never bother to tell you about.

Thankfully, this has never happened to me.

Even more thankfully, I'm done writing that paragraph.

And yet more thankfully than that, I have once again solved the case of the crashing US Airways plane, saving the NTSB the trouble of doing its job, and saving the taxpayers of the United States a sum equivalent to roughly 15,000 Vietnamese Dong, or 98 cents.

The whole crash was an elaborately staged metaphor, paid for by the NFL, to augur the result of this weekend's AFC Championship game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Bird beats man! Ravens win!

Of course, it's entirely possible that I'm wrong, but if I were the Steelers, I wouldn't be too comfortable, even if they did manage to somehow squeak past the Ravens. Because you know who'll be waiting in the Super Bowl? The winner of the NFC Championship game between the Philadelphia EAGLES and the Arizona CARDINALS.

Anyone who waited until after reading this post to call their bookie, YOU'RE WELCOME.

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