Will We Still Dress All Retro in the Future? Yes.

These people, who look like ordinary, run-of-the-mill white people, are more than just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill white people. Why, you ask? Take a gander at the name of the building, which is emblazoned in futuristic-looking letters. It says, in case I didn't just give it away blatantly enough, "The Future."



These people are from The Future.


Weird how they dress the same as people from like, eight years ago, right? I mean, that's the first thing I thought, was that wow, they are really nailing the 2000 summer fashions. Then again, I was coming down pretty hard from some primo anesthetic after an early-morning medical procedure. On a Thursday.

Speaking of which,

Dear [redacted] Center,

Many, many thanks for your fine quality drugs. I'm sure their street value must have far exceeded what my insurance company is going to pay you, so thank you for holding onto them and forfeiting the vast sums of cash you could have gotten in a local high school cafeteria.

Anyway, awesome stuff. You could have molested me in my sleep, and I would still have woken up smiling and laughing.

Yours in Christ,
Smokey Robinson.

But back to the future. (Zing!)



This is what the future looks like. I know, it's bright, right? So bright that you gotta wear shades. (Zing! 2)

Also, I'm pretty sure Michael J. Fox and/or Christopher Lloyd lives in this building, because from just down the street, I overheard the following conversation, in New York:

Marty McFly: Oh, shit, I forgot my wallet.
Girl with Marty (Jennifer?): You forgot your wallet?
Marty: Yeah, we have to go back to The Future to get it.
Jennifer (the Elisabeth Shue version, not the other one): Back to the Future? That's catchy!
Doc Brown: Great Scott!

(Zing!, 3)

Three zing!s. That's a pretty good day at the plate for old Smokey here. I'm going to go shop local high school cafeterias for more of that mind-numbingly good anesthesia. (Zing!, 4)

Zings:

Robinson, S .... 4

Quick thought: they should totally make a tv show about The Future. A reality show, maybe. On Bravo, this fall, after My Life on the D-List.

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE: