If Oscar is elected president, he promises to take pretzels off the enemy combatant list, where they have been ever since January 14, 2002, when a brave pretzel (coincidentally named Dennis Kucinich) tried to, um, "serve articles of impeachment" on the President, as an actor said to a bishop.
You have to be very careful with your wording when mentioning what Dennis Kucinich, the Pretzel was really trying to do.
Note to the government: these are all jokes. I just wanted to spell that out, because I know how easy it would be to, um, "be misread and sent to Guantanamo," as an actor said to a bishop.
Anyway, that's an Oscar Promise™!
And because this isn't getting nearly enough media coverage, here's Oscar's campaign poster again:
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