Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Screw You, Mars

I can't decide who pisses me off more - the Martian lander(s) that discovered it's snowing on Mars, or the planet Mars itself for basically mocking us and our global warming problem that may not be a problem but may in fact be simply the will of God and Jesus and Alex Rodriguez.

On the one hand, there's the Martian lander(s), joyriding around another planet, taking pictures of the scenery, sending vacation slide shows back to Earth, and never ONCE asking how we're doing even though the economy is on fire like it was made out of a pile of wood that somebody lit on fire with a match or a torch or a crude fire-bearing device of some kind. Um, Earth to Martian lander(s): whose tax dollars do you think are paying for your little ski trip up there on Olympus Mons, or wherever the hell you are?

But on the other hand, I don't appreciate a whole planet making fun of the degrading conditions of our global climate either. That is Jay Leno's job, Mars. Not cool. Know your place. I hope God starts blessing you with His attention one of these days, and then you'll be sorry, just like we are. Fuck off, Mars, if that is your real name. I'm totally canceling my planned mission to you.

Oh, and happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month, everybuzzy. Stay aware.

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I hear Mars has some good powder. I was planing a trip there for winter break... Sorry to offend.